Relational dynamics of the married: Expectations before and realities during marriage

Abstract

This study explores the relational dynamics in marriages as a result of the expectations couples had before marriage. An exploratory qualitative research design was employed. Ten (10) couples, making twenty (20) participants from Madina and Ashiyie were interviewed using a semi-structured interview guide. From this study, it has been revealed that all couples have expectations for marriage before they get married. These expectations however can either be conscious or unconscious. Couples‟ expectations are mostly conceived through childhood socialization, the influence of media and the influence of religion. Some of such expectations include „having frequent communication with their partners‟, „getting gifts from their partners‟, „getting to spend quality time with their partners‟, „getting all kinds of help and assistances from their partners‟, „expecting a God fearing partner, a humble partner, a submissive partner‟ and many others. The study continually reveals that when couples‟ expectations are met, they breed positive relational dynamics in the form of happy communication, exchanging of gifts, having quality time for each other and many others which brings joy and resultantly, marital stability. On the other hand, unmet expectations in marriage breed negative relational dynamics in the form of silent treatments, quarrels, fights and other negative actions towards each other which causes distress and marital instability. However, the situation of distress and marital instability can be curbed or reduced if couples are educated on the pros and cons of marital expectations prior to marriage.